I feel comfy. Not in a lukewarm kind of way, but in a peaceful “I know what I want to happen but if it doesn’t I’m trusting God knows what’s up” kinda way. I’m still struggling to make my time His, and what living out a Romans 12 lifestyle looks like, but for once I feel like I can trust again. Trust in not knowing what is going to happen yet, trust in the unknown. It’s been a while since I could do that. It feels good. I am trusting that no matter what, the wind will catch my feathers and take me where I need to be. And there is so much love.

I can drive myself crazy again, same thing, different person,

or, I can take what I learned from the last time
and walk away. Walk away and never look back, never wonder.

I can pretend like it never mattered to me at all. 

you are like peroxide. 

i dont want to jump anymore. i don’t even want to take a leap.

because i’m no longer sure that my heart is worth the gamble,
and i don’t want to risk it for the sake of discovery.

give me something solid,
because this ground has been muddy for far too long from all the tears that i’ve cried.
no more games, give me truth.
i can take it, cold and hard as it may be, it is far better than mystery;
so put me out of my misery before i do something stupid. 

today was my first day of work.

this is my dream job, i love it! 

after a day and a half in the office, i have determined that an office job is the worst possible job for me in the world. not an exaggeration. this is the worst.

lately, i’m feeling a little antisocial.